How can I be a better friend? This is something that I’ve been thinking a lot about recently. We all want to support our friends, but for some people, it’s not as easy as that. If I were to ask you what an ideal friendship would look like, how would you answer that? For me, I need a friend who understands my personality. I also need them to know that I need support. What about you?
I think we all want to be a better friend and at times, we let life get in the way of that happening. It’s not that we mean for it to happen, it just does. Friendships, like any other relationship, require work! My friends know that right now, this is a demanding time for me. I have a lot of deadlines, but that doesn’t mean that I still don’t make time for my friends. They just give me a little bit of extra grace when trying to actually plan something.
As we get older, our life situations change. Our friends are getting married and having children. Sometimes that puts added stress on a friendship just because there seems to be less and less time for dinner dates and random shopping trips. This is where supporting one another comes into play. You might see less of each other and it might be harder and harder to plan to spend time together, but the friendship is still there and each of you knows that.
How Can I Be A Better Friend?
For me personally, I think it’s more so about the quality of friendships that I have, rather than the quantity of friends that I have in my life. You see, I have less friends than I ever have, but the people I do have in my life that I consider friends, mean so much to me. As an adult, I think that our lives change and so does our friendships.
The thing is, sometimes we just don’t know what to do or what to say to help those that we love. There are moments in life where words can’t take away the pain or the frustrations that someone might be dealing with, BUT knowing that you are offering support can mean so much to someone struggling. Knowing that you’re available for a chat can make someone’s day.
- A random text message can make someone’s day!
- Schedule a lunch or a night out once a month
- Support one another. Even when you don’t really know how, just be there for that person
- Celebrate each other’s accomplishments
- Be there for them when things fall apart
- Even if you’re a long-distance friendship, know what’s happening in that person’s life!
- Check in with each other
I think it’s also worth mentioning that there might be difficult times in your friendship. People have arguments. A true friendship will work that all out and might be stronger in the end. Just like any other relationship, a friendship might go through difficult times. Just know they don’t have to be perfect!
I Asked You About Friendships….
I asked on IG for people to tell me what they thought made a good friend. I also asked how they tried to be a better friend themselves. Here are some of the responses that I received:
- “I’ve been setting up monthly dinners with friends one on one. It’s way better for deep conversation.”
- “Make time for them and prioritize the friendship.”
- “Make time for one another. No excuses about it.”
- “Checking in even in seasons of business! A quick text can mean the world.”
- “I think knowing you can be yourself and make others feel like they can do the same.”
- “Take time to check in with them. Whether it’s a text, call or sending a card for a pick me up.”
- “Trustworthy. Someone that you can talk to and be honest with.”
- “Being there.”
- “Listening, encouraging, supportive, willing to tell you things even when it’s not pretty.”
- “Someone who listens without judgement.”
- “Loyalty and following through on what you said you’ll do.”
- Remember important dates and details. Job interview? Make a note and text them the day of.”
- “Intentionally setting aside time. Doesn’t have to be often or a lot.”
I think we all want a friend who is loyal, trustworthy, and someone we can count on for support. Right?!? I know we talk about how adult friendships can be tough and believe me, they aren’t the same as when we were young. However, they can be incredible relationships that are worth the time and the effort.
How do you think you’re a good friend? Is there any advice that you’d offer?