Just like any normal person, I HATE the whole experience of trying on clothes. I don’t know if it’s the horrible lighting in some stores, the tiny “closet” they put you in or just the whole I have to take off all of this and put it on again. BLAH! I hate trying on clothes. Sometimes, it’s really necessary. Today was one of those days.
I’ve been meaning to do a post about my whole health update. Some things have happened and changes have been made. I’ll talk about that more later on in another post, but I’m happy to report that my body is changing. I’m losing weight and inches are coming off. That means none of my clothes are really fitting me the way I would really like them to. So I went out today on a mission. My mission? To find some new clothes that fit, ha!
Here’s the deal. I have a not-so-normal (what the hell is normal though, really?) body. I am not only “plus-size” (I really hate that term), but I’m also short. That trifecta right there makes it nearly impossible to find pants that fit correctly and today, I didn’t luck out in the pants department. I’m working on that! However, I did find some cute tops.
I noticed something when I got home. I had put a few items back on the racks and basically talked myself out of them. I told myself I looked “fat in this” or “crap in that.” I’m being honest! It’s so hard, as a woman, to sometimes really have an honest conversation with yourself about the way you look, without tearing yourself apart. Did I look fat in the dress I put back? NO! After I got home and looked at the pictures I snapped while trying them on (I like to have it for memory of what I got) I was pissed I didn’t pick it up. I realize that I am way to hard on myself and I need to give myself a break. I’ll never look like the models in the magazines. I won’t be as awesomely put together as most bloggers that I look up to and I’ll probably never love everything about myself 100%, BUT I need to give myself more credit and realize that I’m trying. Hell, even trying on smaller sizes is a HUGE accomplishment.
This was the dress that I put back. I honestly convinced myself that I looked bad in it and it wasn’t worth picking up. This dress is what convinced me to write this post.
Why do we tear ourselves apart? I want to change. I want to be more positive about myself! I’d like to be able to look in the mirror and go “WOW! Awesome!!” Instead of “UGH. This is not good.” I’m not the most positive when it comes to giving myself a compliment and you know what, that totally sucks! I think if we don’t see the beauty in ourselves, how are we ever going to feel good about ourselves? I know one thing, I’m going to go back today and pick up that dress and I’m going to rock it for you guys in an upcoming post!
When did it become so hard for some of us to be so accepting of our bodies and our appearance? We’ve become a society that feels the need to “filter” everything that I think we’ve become so used to editing ourselves, that we don’t know what to do when we don’t alway have that option.
I’d love to hear other women’s thoughts on this whole topic. Do we think men feel the same way when they go shopping? Is it just us? Has the definition of what being “beautiful” means changed so much that we no longer feel, as women, that we can live up it? I’m going to keep this “Fitting Room Confessions” post going on and I might even make a series about it!