If I could sit down for coffee with my younger self, I know exactly what I’d say. She’d walk in, probably a little unsure and anxious, clutching her drink with both hands like it’s some kind of shield. She wouldn’t know yet how strong she is, how much she’s about to grow, or that the things (or people) she’s worrying about now won’t even matter in a few years.
1. You Don’t Have to Have It All Figured Out
I know you’re constantly planning, worrying, trying to predict every possible outcome. But here’s the truth—some of the absolute best moments in life come when you stop overthinking and just let things happen. I know how hard that is. Trust yourself. You’re capable of handling more than you realize. Way more.
2. Keep Talking About What You Love
You might feel like your love of books is silly or not “serious” enough. Ignore that voice. Those stories you’re reading will teach you more about love, life, and resilience than you could ever imagine. And one day, you’ll create a whole space where you get to talk about books with people who love them as much as you do.
- Check out my IG account dedicated to all the books I read!
- Check out my monthly wrap-ups of all the books I read each month
And while we’re at it—keep “playing” with makeup. Keep swatching lipsticks, testing out skincare, and finding joy in the little things, even if others don’t get it. One day, that passion will turn into something bigger than you ever expected. You’ll create a space where beauty and books intertwine, where you get to share what you love and inspire others to embrace what makes them happy, too.
3. Stop Trying to Shrink Yourself
Not just physically—emotionally, mentally, in every way. You don’t have to be smaller, quieter, or more agreeable to make other people comfortable. Take up space. Speak your mind. Say yes to the bright pink shoes, the over-the-top jewelry you love, and the dreams that feel just a little too big. They’re not too big for you.
One day, you’ll realize that you are worthy of love. The real kind. The kind that makes you feel safe, seen, and more yourself than ever before. You’ll meet someone who loves you more than you could ever imagine, who tells you you’re beautiful every single day—not because you need to hear it, but because it’s true. So please, ignore the ones who make you feel less than. They were never meant for you anyway.
4. Some Things Won’t Go as Planned, and That’s Okay
You’re going to have moments that break you. You’ll lose people you love, and it will hurt more than you ever imagined. You’ll lose your father—not in the way you already had, but in a way that feels final. He wasn’t in your life the way you needed him to be, and yet, when you learn he’s gone, the pain will hit you in ways you never expected. It won’t just be grief for the man he was, but for the relationship that never was. The loss of what could have been, what should have been. And that will be its own kind of heartbreak.
You’ll also step into a role you never saw coming—you’ll care for your father-in-law as dementia slowly takes pieces of him away. It will be hard. Some days will be overwhelming and incredibly frustrating. But you’ll show up, even when it hurts and you’re so close to breaking down, because that’s who you are.
And then there’s the journey you never expected—the battle with infertility. You’ll fight, you’ll hope, you’ll grieve. You’ll pour your heart into something that doesn’t turn out the way you dreamed it would. And one day, you’ll make the impossible decision to walk away without a child. It will feel like a loss you can’t put into words. But I promise you, it won’t define you. It will always still hurt, but the grief changes with time.
Through it all, you’ll learn just how strong you really are. You’ll realize that love doesn’t disappear, even when people do. That your life is still whole, still meaningful, still beautiful—even if it doesn’t look the way you once imagined. Not everything will go the way you planned, but that doesn’t mean life won’t still be filled with love, purpose, and unexpected joys.
5. You’re Doing Better Than You Think
If I could hug her before she left, I would. Because I know she’s hard on herself. She never thinks she is good enough. I’d tell her she’s doing just fine. That she’s enough—right now, just as she is. I know she doesn’t feel beautiful most days. I know she wonders if she’ll ever truly love herself. But one day, she will. It will take time and a lot of therapy. It won’t be because she changed—it’ll be because she finally saw herself the way she was meant to all along.
And as she walks away, I’d smile—because I know everything she’s about to become and the life she has ahead of her. One day, that shield she has up will slowly
What Would You Tell Your Younger Self?
If you could meet your younger self for coffee, what advice would you give her? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
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